I heard the saying no pain, no gain in my martial arts class today. I have heard that saying over and over as I work out and be healthy.

Today it struck me in a different way. No pain, no gain, applies to ALL areas of life, not just the physical exercise we liken it with.

When we are having disagreements with our spouses, it applies to that as well.

When we are dealing with a 2 year old who decides that having a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery story is an opportunity, it applies to that.

When we are dealing with our teenager, it applies to that.

When we are dealing with customers, it applies to that.

When we are dealing with bosses or employees, it applies to that.

I know what I first thought when I thought this. Well, what about my comfortable life, what about my peaceful existence where I control, why am I not able to just have that in my exercise routine. Again, no pain, no gain.

My relationship with my husband has taken up more than half my life. No pain, no gain was the motto of the first 20 years. I think we had more drama in our marriage as a result of the outside influences. Now, he is my best friend. I like this part now but we had to go through some incredibly painful times to get here.

So if you are going through some trying times with your spouse, your job, your friends, your life, remember that no pain, no gain philosophy.

You are being stretched to fit a new skin of the incredible you. You are being brought to a whole new level of understanding that you would not get to if you stayed comfortable.

Without the pain,you would not have the energy to accept the new level of understanding.

This all being said, the pain is not something you have to look for, it will find you. And you control how long the lesson is. If you choose a miserable long lesson,the pain will last a long time. I opt for the short version.

The Good Opinion of Others is just that–their opinion. And a wise person does not take someone else’s opinion as their own.

Ever taken someone else’s opinion as your own without really validating it on your own?

I have and the last time I did that, it almost cost me a goal I had been working on for 4 years.

It started innocent enough. I was listening to “friend” of mine talk badly about someone we both knew. He was treating her unfairly. Since I had heard several other complaints about this person it was easy to take on the same opinion.

What happened next was interesting, I chose to let my 4 year goal drop. For two weeks.

I was sabotaging my goal as a result of someone else’s opinion.

The venting or talking behind someone’s back is gossip and it is dangerous. It hurts the person gossipping, it hurts the person being talked about, and it hurts those that are surrounded by them. It is an addiction and it is so cruel. And most people have no idea the damage they do.

As emotionally connected to the story that I can be, there is no reason to speak about the problem without ending with the solutions. The focus must be on the solution.

The end result to this lesson for me is simple. It is not about perfection, it is about awareness with movement which equals transformation.

I choose to live my life in kindness.

I choose to shelf the opinion and be focused and congruent on what my vision for my life is.

I choose to  have people around me who speak positively about others.

I choose to have people around me that are supportive.

I choose to support those around me by being the example.

I choose to live my life in awareness and love for others.

I choose to live my life in kindness.

I am grateful for the lesson which is one that took a long time to fully comprehend. I am grateful to be fulfilling my bucket list dream that I started 4 years ago.