Life Coaching 3Tired of having surface relationships in your life?

No one seem to have your back?

Fighting with your significant other wishing it was different?

Or worse, only attract relationships that are not available?

The Cornerstone is a class that prepares you for the right relationship for you and helps you be the person who will be successful in your relationships.

This is not a class where you get to get something.

This is not a class where we are going to tell you that you are wrong and need to be fixed.

Most everyone has difficulty with relationships in their life, either with themselves or with others. So we are only focused on the solution of having great relationships first with you and then with those that matter to you.

If all you focus on is what you can get, then all you will get is stuff that is outside of you.

The next Cornerstone is on November 19 and 20, 2016. It is the last one of the year. The next one is scheduled for February

To find out more about this please go to Cornerstone Page

IMG_3348I remember the first time I took a Personal Development Class that was not AA related. It was magical. And I chose to change my life.

I was pretty tired of being angry, pissy, that girl who had an edge, that woman who was not really liked.

I wanted my marriage to work.

I wanted my children home with me.

I wanted my work to matter even just to me. At the time I had just got laid off from my position where I looked after a 6.2 milion dollars of Floral Sales.

I wanted to feel like my life had meaning.

I wanted to not feel guilty for not always being there for my mom and my brother who had just finished a 72 day murder trial.

And that journey which had already begun, continued.

I was always goal driven but it seemed that I liked to do things the hard way. Always starting at the bottom and working to the top.

My life began to change not because of a class I took, because of the way I applied the knowledge I learned in the class. And to this day, I apply the knowledge that I learn works.

That is really what the Cornerstone is about, becoming aware of the knowledge and then applying the knowledge.

We all know not to eat high sugar but how many of us actually apply that principle.

So when I decided to start the Cornerstone, it was really an opportunity to let people apply the knowledge they already know in a different way that allows them to stick to it.

The Cornerstone is also about congruency. What you see is what you get. Real hard core life happens in the everyday. Not to be dismissed. But to be used as education.

 

To learn more about the Cornerstone simply go to Cornerstone Class Page

Anxiety-The Energy Killer

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Anxiety is a real energy zapper. And anxiety is real.

And as much work I have done on myself, as much as I have helped with this issue, there are times when I am reminded what it feels like to be anxious.

My visit to the Breast Health Center today was one of anxiety and ended joyfully.

It was bundled tissue. No abnormalities.

So what does that mean?

That I am healthy and the anxiety I was feeling was for nothing or was it?

As anxiety has become one of the most common reasons people visit the doctor, one really must look at it for what it is.

Anxiety is the not knowing, the fear of what might happen, the fear of expecting a bad result.

It is the fight response. When pushed into a corner, what is your default.

For me, my default is to go into control, to manage, to overwork. I go into do-ing. For others they may go into sleeping, others in anger and so many other responses.

None of these are bad, it is simply something to notice and to enjoy the feeling of whatever you are experiencing.

Do I waste energy on something that will never happen?
Do I play the what if game?
Do I expect the worst and then when the good happens, I am relieved?
Do I ignore it?
Do I embrace it?
Do I yell and scream and ask why?

The only time these become bad, is when you spend one year doing them.

Handling anxiety is possible but it takes some work and some know how.

Not handling anxiety creates more problems than what you really want to deal with in this lifetime so handling it while it is in the beginning is optimum.

7 Steps on how to deal with Anxiety

1. Exercise-30 minutes of physical activity every day will help your mood. Without it, you are not tired, you are not burning off the excess energy you have.

2. Meditate daily-5 minutes of meditation daily will slow your mind down long enough to breathe and to allow your body and mind to make decisions that make sense.

3. Sleep-Adequate sleep is so important. 7-8 hours of sleep is critical to allowing your body and mind to put things back where they are meant to be.

4. Handle events as they come up. Procrastination allows for things undone that nag you at the back of your mind. Handle things with urgency.

5. Clear any upsets you have. If you have an argument or disagreement, do not leave it. Handle it.

6. Forgive. You do not need to hold onto grudges. As Tim McGraw says in his song, “Bitterness keeps you from flying.” Not forgiving keeps you from enjoying life to the fullest.

7. Get the information you need. Do not wait to get the info, go get it. Do what you can to deal with your situation.

Today I am anxious. Not overly just noticeable. I was not until yesterday.

I slept well. I exercised and I meditated. I even put myself into a light trance.

And still when you know you have an appointment with breast health for the mammogram and ultrasound you had yesterday because of the lump you found a couple weeks ago, there are anxious moments.

Some would tell me, including myself to give it over to God, that there is nothing one can do until one has the results.

Others may tell me their story.

All I want is the results to be given so then I can know what to do.

Anxiety is caused by not knowing what to do.

So as I write this, I realize that I am enjoying the anxious moment. It really is interesting. I love being able to feel. There was a time in my life where nothing was allowed in.

And so now I go to my 9 am appointment knowing I have done everything I can think of.

I have done one thing that is amazing. I have not wasted two weeks on the possibility of a bad result. One hour. And for that I am grateful.

Have you ever looked at someone else and think that they have everything? That their life is perfect and so lucky in life?

And why is your life such a mess or not as good as that person?

Why do you get to struggle?

Why is your marriage over when they look so happy?

Why do they have financial success and you do not?

The comparison card is such a slippery slope to travel when your self esteem is not at its highest.

Here are few tips on how to combat the I am not good enough program that everyone seems to have at one point in their life.

1. Be grateful for what you have. You are probably in a different place than you were a year ago and you will be in a different place in a year from now.

2. Understand that everything is a cycle. And you are in the cycle that you are in as the people you envy are also in a cycle.

3. We all will have a challenge to overcome in this lifetime that will support us in not doing everything by ourselves. At one point in your life you will need support from someone else and you will be given an opportunity to give support as well.

4. This lifetime is all about balance. As prosperous as one is, there will be a time of void as well. One cannot have one without the other.

5. Be okay with your lot in life. Trying to change something you cannot change is stupidity. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Is one of the most powerful verses I have ever read and applied in my life. There are some things that positive thinking will not change such as my height or the disease I just got diagnosed with. I can change how I deal with it.

6. When you find yourself in envy, send love to the person you are envious over. They have what you want which shows you it is possible. Thank them for showing you that these things are possible.

And above all else, understand that you are enough in this lifetime and that you have come here to do something. And you will. It will not look like anyone else and it should not for you are you and they are them. And it is enough to be who you are.

Funny how I see things differently as I go through life.

At one time, a coach purse was the thing to have, a nice house, a great car and diamond jewellery for every day of the week.

What I know today is that although some of those things are nice, I got them because someone else had them and I felt a little pressure to be like them.

Those people are long gone. Those people are still trying to get others to amass debt to be part of the crowd. But they are not my crowd.

I live this life. I used to be so good at figuring how to make do with things I had, to be grateful for the things I had. Now I find it much too easy to simply go and buy something new.

So I am doing a thirty day challenge of using what I have, or being aware of what I have and what I do not use in the next 30 days will be donated.

I want to be aware of what I am doing not reacting because of one thing or another. I really want to experience everything that I choose to experience.

I do not want to live this life afraid to say one thing because is might be taken the wrong way or say something that might be hurtful and not even know it.

And I do think having stuff makes me a slave to more stuff. And worse what you think of me having stuff or not having stuff makes me a slave to you.

Not today.

In light of what has happened to people all around the world with fires and flood where they have lost everything, it seems that if we shared what we had, everyone would have enough.

My ability to see what is possible, to expand my mind, my spirit, my soul, my way of thinking, my emotional depth, and above all else, my spiritual connection not just with God but with everyone around me.

Everything that has happened so far has led you to a possibility that there is a possibility.

And most miss the fact that there is even that hope of a possibility.

Until they are challenged, until they have something to get righteous about, until something goes wrong.

It is so interesting when I think of all the courses I have taken in my lifetime to attain the PhD status, or even the personal development courses  I have spent over 100 grand on. And for some time I questioned whether it was even worth it.

And now I know the answer to that.  Yes it was.

Here is what I mean.

The courses I have taken have all provided me with an education that is unique to me. And all of them have allowed me to open up to the possibility for me.

I was asked about a seminar company that I was affiliated with for 6 years.  Even I had problems with my saying I worked there for I looked at the leaders of the company and some did not even come close to resemble what they preached about and I could not understand why that bothered me. It bothered me because I was in judgment. I was looking for the leaders to show their true colours, which I was sure was opposite to what they talked about.

I did not yet understand that their job was not to be in  integrity by my standards, their job was to teach me that the possibility of integrity was available. Their job was to show me that wealth was a possibility. Their job was to open me up to see, not them, but me, the possibility of me.

And all I could do at the time was judge them.  I now know different. Their integrity or lack of integrity is not my judgment to own, it is theirs.

And so did the church. The church where I grew up was rife with all kinds of problems and judgments. And I left when the judgment of me was hurtful and personal. But their job was to simply open me up to the possibility, the possbility of me.

Taking T. Harv Eker’s course was about a set of rules that I needed to follow to be a successful trainer. What I left with was the possibility of even being one.

Recently I hired a coach/mentor. He was the first person who said I could bring my company to 1.3 million by December 2018. He opened me to the possibility of even doing that. That is a great mentor. He did not even know much about my business. What he did know is that if I could accept the possibility, I could accept the reality.

Many people will talk the good talk, but when it comes to actions, it is usually a different story.

What is possible for you? And everything is not the answer. You have a specific skill set unique to you that has led you to the possibilty, what is possible for you.

If you are still saying, I cannot do this or that, or I wish I had more money or time, spending a lot of time with businesses that only make others rich, or avoiding your life, then the your have limited the possible.

Take one step into the possible. Just one!

So you are so excited about your new business, your multi level marketing business, or your financial investing business. And your mentor says to talk to all your friends and get them to buy your products because of course they will because they care about you.

This model is the best way to ruin friendships and to have your friends run from you, not take your calls, and generally not like what you are doing.

Of course this is the extreme, but there is a lot of truth to it.

Here is the problem, when we pitch our friends, we have an expectation that they will buy from us. When they do not, you may be disappointed. When they do and your product has problems, they will be disappointed.  And our friends today, we need to keep them as friends.

This took me a long time to really understand. I am a salesperson. I sell everything. I was in Costco the other day and I sold the protein powder that I use to the woman who was looking for something that did not taste bad.

How I sell today is very different than how I sold at the local seminar company I worked at for several years. They relied on you getting your friends to take their classes and you were substandard and let go if you did not do that. This type of manipulation is changing. The vibration of the people is changing. Thank goodness.

No one likes to be pitched. No one likes to be manipulated. No one likes to be let go.

So how does one become successful when dealing with a new business.

One:

Giving with a Pure Heart

Random Acts of Kindness was an act that was done without expectation of return or without agenda. When we give with the pure heart we are giving with no expectation of return. Including my name in lights or on a large cheque being handed to the organizer, a thank you card, a recognition of any kind, and anonymously. When I have done this in the past, it felt wonderful. Even that is an expectation, the expectation of feeling wonderful. How to do a Random Act of Kindness.

  1. Spontaneity works well since no thought is involved. Less time for the ego to get wrapped around it.
  2. Give what you feel is right
  3. Do not tell anyone
  4. Have a lot of fun doing it
  5. Give from the energy of love, pure love.

Some examples of pure giving

  1. Buy coffee for the person in the drive thru behind you
  2. Buy someone’s groceries
  3. Open the door with a smile for someone-women-open the door for the gentleman and smile sweetly at him.
  4. Send loving energy to everyone around you
  5. Walk around with a smile on your face
  6. Feed the homeless
  7. Support a family anonymously at Christmas
  8. Trust yourself to give
  9. Learn to receive from others with grace.
  10. Smile with your family, leave the drama alone for the holidays.
  11. Do not judge your friends and family

Giving with a pure heart means there is nothing for you to be gained. No business, no recognition, no nothing. When you do this, you allow the gift to be received without the attachments of you around it so it can be enjoyed to the fullest. Buying flowers or cards with a positive note on them and just putting them peoples windshields or putting the flowers or food on the doorstep are just a few examples. Merry Christmas!

It can be paralyzing. It can stop you from making any decision, good or bad. It can stop you from having the life you really want.

And there is not much you can do about it.

Or is there?

Normally what we do is pretend it is not there. Or we get angry at things that are completely irrelevant. Or we blame others when things do not go our way.

The reason this stops you is because the need to control everything is so great that we will not go into the unknown. We control everything. We take little risks.

And in the process we forget to live our life, to really live our life.

We stay safe. We hide from things we really want. We forget to dream. We lose sight of who we really are.

One may have a hard time discovering whether this is the case or not. How do you know?

If you blame others, if you think you are letting life pass you by, if you have a hard time making a decision, or if you feel like you must be in control, then perhaps the fear of the unknown has you in its clutches.

Here are few tips to begin to solve this.

1. Realize that this is what you are doing
2. Start today by doing one thing that supports knowing besides controlling, take a small risk, such as driving differently to work, wearing a new colour, and build on those successes.
3. Get an accountability partner that will support you in being more flow with, not so controlling.
4. Hire a good coach who will see you through this.

The Fear of the Unknown is a scary proposition. One can overcome it by beginning to live life in a way that is very liberating.

The Cornerstone is a great beginning to a journey of understanding that the unknown will never stop you again.